Yesterday & Today
by Lani-kins125
Summary: Lucy is new in town. A sweet girl with a somewhat normal background. She just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time. Just in time to save two boys she didn't even know. But in doing so, she helped to kill another boy. And now, she has no choice but to run away with the two she saved. Goodbye normal life, hello Johnny Cade. Johnny/OC -rewritten as of July 19th, 2013-
1. Intro

**Intro**

I woke in a cold sweat, panting and gripping the blankets that covered my legs. I was sitting upright in bed, trying to calm my racing heart as I looked around the messy, unfamiliar room. It took a few moments to remember that a few hours before we had moved into our aunt's home. With a sigh, I laid back down and tried not to think of the nightmare which had disturbed my slumber.

"Kitty?" I heard a small voice call, and I shot up to see my little brother Peyton at the door.

"Hey, Tuff," I called him by his nickname in a groggy voice, "What are you doing awake?"

He ran over to my bed and whispered, "I had a bad dream."

"You too, huh?" I breathed as I made room for the five-year old.

I pulled the blanket around him and looked at my glowing clock that read 3:51am. We lay there for a moment in silence before Tuff said, almost to himself, the words I did not want to think about.

"I wonder if mom and dad are gonna come get us soon."

I hesitated, not wanting to crush the boy's hope. Finally, I said, "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it, Tuff."

"I know," he said, and I could barely make out the deep frown settled on his face in the dark.

I grabbed his tiny hand, saying almost silently, "Get some sleep now."

I waited until I heard his light snores to get comfortable and try to sleep. Unfortunately, my mind was much too busy thinking about our parents.

We were middle class. Had a decent home life, up until four years ago, that is. I was eleven then, old enough to watch myself and take care of baby Peyton, whom I had called Tuff. My parents didn't like being home, and were always doing odd things to keep themselves distracted. To keep from thinking about the accident, I suppose. It never affected me very much, I guess, up until this past week. They decided to just up and quit their jobs to travel the world. I kept thinking that they weren't over what happened just yet, and they should just accept it and move on. Anyway, they just dropped Tuff and I at Tilly's house in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Tulsa felt so far from California.

I decided to take living there one day at a time. Later that day, Tilly should take Tuff to the kindergarten she worked at. And I should unpack my things, maybe even go to the store. But I fell asleep before I could think about it any longer.

"KITTY CAT!" I jumped in surprised and looked around, confused in my half-asleep state.

Tuff was running around in the middle of the room, yelling out my old nickname. He stopped when he saw me awake, flashing a crooked smile before darting out of the room. I shook my head at his shenanigans, knowing exactly how much I loved him.

"Lucy," aunt Tilly called from another part of the house, "Breakfast is almost ready!"

I slipped into the small bathroom across the hall and quickly rinsed myself in the shower. After a few minutes of washing myself in the warm water, I turned the shower off and dried myself with a soft towel. In my room, I hurried to make myself decent.

"_I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand; when I say that something, I want to hold your hand,_" I sang softly as I pulled my long, chocolate colored hair into a braid.

I continued humming songs from the Beatles as I got ready. I slipped on a pair of blue jeans and a loose grey shirt before putting mascara and lip balm on.

"Good day, Tuff stuff," I ruffled his dark brown hair as I made my way into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go to aunty's work, Kitty!" the child exclaimed excitedly.

"I know," I said, grabbing a piece of bacon from the plate aunt Tilly was holding.

"C'mon, Peyton," my aunt said to Tuff, brushing the auburn colored hair out of her eyes as she ushered him to the front door, "Lucy, would you handle those dishes for me? And when you're done unpacking, I need you to pick up some things from the store. The list is on the counter. Bye!"

I chomped on some bacon and listened to the car pulling out of the driveway. I thought about how hard it must be for aunt Tilly as I cleaned up the kitchen. I'd only met her a few times, before Tuff was born and a couple of times after the accident. She and my dad didn't talk much due to some fight they had after their last parent died. It was generous of the twenty-five-year old to take in her niece and nephew so suddenly.

And then I remembered that I still needed to unpack, so I went to do that.

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**AN: So that's the intro! I have officially started this story over. I'll post the first chapter tomorrow probably, I just want to pace myself. I will hopefully be updating this story more often. Probably on Fridays, or whenever I feel like it haha. Sorry if I drop off the radar for a bit, I am a very busy person. Let me know what you think of the intro :)**

**-Lani xo**


	2. Chapter 1: Sodapop

**Chapter 1: Sodapop**

It took about five and a half hours situate my room just right. It wasn't until then that I carried myself down the hall, into the kitchen to make myself food. It was still early afternoon, so I settled for an apple.

I ate the red fruit absentmindedly as I looked at the photos on aunt Tilly's fridge. My fingers ran over one from when Tuff was born. I was sitting on Tommy's lap...

I slowly retracted my hand and, suddenly not hungry anymore, threw out the half-eaten apple. While washing the juice from my hands, I spotted the list and money on the counter. After drying my hands, I picked the papers up and walked out the door.

I wasn't really sure where to go, but I wasn't too worried about it. Even as I realized that the further I went, the more shabby the buildings got. Eventually, I came across a park. I stood frozen, suddenly faced with the urge to run and play like a little kid. After a moment, I shook away the thought and continued walking.

"Hey," a voice called from behind me, and I turned to see a car cruising behind me.

A nicely dressed teen leaned out the passenger window of the Mustang as I turned and tried to ignore him.

He whistled, "What are you doing on this side of town?"

I didn't acknowledge him except to walk faster. I wondered why he was talking to me. My height and baby face made me look about thirteen, two years younger than I actually was. The boys kept bugging me until I walked up to a gas station. They drove away as soon as I walked into the mart.

"Welcome to the DX," a very handsome teen welcomed me with a polite smile.

"Hi," I said shyly, "Um, do you know where a nearby grocery store is? I'm new to town and am a bit lost."

He blinked at me, and for a moment I wondered if I shouldn't have bothered him.

Then he smiled again, "Actually, I gotta go down to the supermarket anyways, if you wanted to wait a few for my friend to come take my shift."

I shrugged, he seemed like a nice enough fellow, and held out my hand, "I'm Lucy, but my brother calls me Kitty."

He raised an eyebrow at me, but shook my hand nonetheless, "The name's Sodapop."

"Soda?" I said with a quiet laugh, not meaning it to be rude.

"Kitty?" he retorted with a playful smirk.

I gave him a sheepish smile. And we stayed there, talking and waiting. He asked me about my family, so I told him about Tuff and Tilly, mom and dad, but left out Tommy. Then I asked him about his family. All he said was that he had two brothers, Darrell and Ponyboy, but then his friend came. He introduced the older teen as Steve, and then we left for the store.

"So how old are you, anyway?" Soda asked as we walked the few blocks it would take us.

"Fifteen," I shrugged, "And you?"

He looked at me quickly and stuttered that he was a year older, but had thought I was a bit younger. I looked down at the ground, having nothing to say to that. As we reached the store, Soda said he'd meet me in the front to walk back.

Aunt Tilly had pretty standard items on her shopping list, and all were easy to find. Like agreed, I met Soda in front of the store about half an hour later. He escorted me back to the DX gas station. Along the way, I asked him about the shady boys that had followed me earlier. Soda said that they were "Socs" – rich kids – who liked to pick on people who walked around "Greaser territory". I didn't even bother to ask what a Greaser was, but I figured it was the more poor people.

"Well, Kitty," Soda said as we neared the DX, "It was nice meetin' you. Maybe you could come back tomorrow and I'll introduce you to my gang."

I nodded and smiled, "See you, Sodapop!"

And with the grocery bags in hand, I made my way back to the house that I must now call home.

"... And I made so many new friends!" Tuff was telling me as we sat around the kitchen table, eating pizza from aunt Tilly's favorite pizzeria.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Peyton," aunt Tilly teased and winked at me.

As I put my plate in the sink, I could see the sun sink closer to the ground outside the window. And I thought about that park I had seen earlier. I felt so drawn to that place, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to fight the urge to go there again.

"Aunt Tilly?" I said distractedly, "Could I maybe go for a walk?"

She thought for a second and said slowly, "Well, sure hon, just don't be out too late."

With a smile, I ran and grabbed my converse from my room and slipped them on. I walked to the door, my mind consumed with the thought of the park. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, or why I even wanted to go to the run-down place anyway, but I did.

"Stay out of trouble, ya hear?" aunt Tilly called just before I shut the door behind me, her slight accent coming out at the end.

_Oh, and what kind of trouble could I get into?_ I thought to myself.

If only I had known.

I let my feet carry me down the street as I watched the sun set completely. I looked for the first stars to reveal their lights, and wondered if I should have brought Tuff along to play. But then I thought not, for I just wanted a peaceful night to watch the stars and think about life. Oh, how I imagined that everyone was safe in their homes, asleep with their families. I walked slowly, wanting it to be dark enough to see the stars by time I reached the park. But as I neared my destination, reality drop-kicked my fantasies. I stood frozen in the same spot I had stood mere hours before, but this time I was not alone. I was oh so terribly _un_alone.

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**A/N: So there's the official first chapter of the story! Hope you like the story so far. Some feedback would be greatly appreciated, guys. Let me know what you think.**

**Review & stuff? :)**

**-Lani xo**


	3. Chapter 2: Trouble

**Chapter 2: Trouble**

"Get back here, Greaser!" a tall boy yelled as he dragged another boy to the water fountain erected in the middle of the park, and pushed the boy's head under the water.

The smaller boy flailed and fought, but two larger boys held him down. Another small boy was being beaten by a larger teen. I watched in horror as it happened, not knowing what to do. I couldn't control my feet, though, and I suddenly started running towards them.

_Turn around, turn around! _I was mentally screaming to my body, but I still ran up to the tall boy – whom I assumed was a "Soc" – that held the unmoving "Greaser" underwater, and pushed him as hard as I could. I sat the soaked, unconscious Greaser against the fountain wall and checked that he was breathing as water spilled from his mouth.

The Soc I had knocked over was struggling to stand, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath from where I stood. I turned and pushed another Soc over from behind, and the boy they were jumping got up as the Socs looked around distractedly. Apparently the two Socs jumping the guy weren't quite as drunk as their friend, because both reacted quickly.

The one I had knocked over jumped up and grabbed me, shoving me roughly to my knees. I landed hard onto the gravel as the teen forced me onto my belly, dragging me by the ankles. Rocks and broken glass and something hot all dug into my forearms and exposed stomach that was scraping the ground. And I started to panic. I had never been in a fight, except one verbal argument that I don't like to think about. So I trusted my instinct and got one ankle free. And I kicked back as hard as I possibly could.

A sickening crunch filled my ears as my foot connected, and I twisted free, scrambling a few feet away.

"You bitch!" the boy slurred as I got to my feet.

I turned and saw him holding onto his nose, sticky red liquid gushing down his chin. From the corner of my eye, I could see that his very drunk friend had finally found his footing, and his not-as-drunk friend was still fighting the smaller boy. That's when I heard the very distinct _click_. I didn't know what it was, but I guess the Socs did because two of them immediately took off running. The only one who didn't run was the big one with all the shiny rings. He made a lunge for the boy, and I felt fear for the Greaser. So I kicked the Soc, making him stumble.

He seemed to remember me and I tried to run out of his reach, but he caught me by the neck and pulled his free fist back. I flinched and waited for the impact, but it never came. The Soc cried out and I opened my eyes just in time to see that the boy had punched the Soc's side. Then, as I saw the moonlight glint off the Greaser's hand, I realized that he had not punched the Soc's side. He had, in fact, stabbed him. I felt my stomach churn a bit.

My eyes went wide and I started flailing my arms like an idiot because I didn't know what else to do. The Soc lunged for the obviously injured Greaser, so I bent and picked up a good-sized rock. The Soc had managed to wrestle the knife from the Greaser in the few seconds I had looked away. The Soc raised his arm, about to stab down, and I hit the boy's hand with the rock. The Greaser scrambled to grab the knife as the Soc held his bent, broken fingers in pain.

A shaky cough from behind me prompted me to leave the Greaser and Soc to care for the unconscious, half-drowned boy with the long, light hair.

"I don't even know who you guys are," I groaned as I tried to shake the shivering teen awake.

I spun around when I heard the wheeze. It was shortly followed by a liquidy cough, and the Soc stumbled a few steps before falling to the ground. I'm sure my eyes were wide as saucers and my already pale skin went even more ashen when I noted that a dark puddle was forming under the boy's body. I leaned back against the fountain wall and watched numbly as the shaking dark-haired boy made his way over to us. He sat slowly next to me and stared at his hands.

Just then, the other one coughed more water into his lap as he stirred into consciousness.

"Wha-?" he coughed, confused, "What did you-?"

He cut himself off, noticing the body a few feet away from us.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," he muttered into his hand before crawling away and emptying his stomach.

I felt so far away from myself at that moment. It felt like a dream, or a nightmare. But then my cuts started burning, and the feeling started to slowly return. I felt sick. Guilt mixed with worry.

I looked over at the boy beside me, and for some reason that I'm not really sure of, the first words out of my mouth were, "Are you okay?"

I finally took the time to really look at him. His dark, raven hair was styled to the side, but at the moment some of it fell into his big brown eyes. He looked to have a tan complexion. He refused to look at me, but nodded.

"Who are you?" I turned to my other side and saw the light-haired one coming back over.

"I'm Lucy," I shook my head, my brow furrowing with worry, "Are you okay?"

I quickly scanned his dripping body for signs of major injuries. I wasn't sure why I was so concerned for these strangers, but I was.

"We've gotta get outta here," he avoided my question, his voice still quivering.

They both stood and exchanged a look before running down the street. I hesitated for a moment, glancing at the... body one last time before stumbling after them. I had no choice but to follow the two boys.

"Wait!" I called, running out of breath, "Where are we going?!"

They slowed, the dark-haired one even paused so I could catch up to him, and the light-haired one simply said, "We've gotta go see Dally."

I didn't get to ask who "Dally" was because they started running again, and I struggled to keep up with them. I mentally cursed myself for not participating in physical education more often, and prayed that I didn't pass out from lack of oxygen on the way to this mysterious place. Eventually, after what had felt like ten years but was probably closer to ten minutes of running, we came up to a house. I leaned on my knees and tried to catch my breath as the boys asked the person at the door for "Dally".

_Oh no, _things were slowly dawning on me, _Did I really just help two strangers... _Kill_ someone?! I think I did. Oh no, oh no!_

_ And I still don't know their names._

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**A/N: Chapter two because I love you. You're welcome. I'm going to stay a few chapters ahead, so I'll update every time I finish a new chapter :) feedback would be great. Thanks to my newest reviewer, immafungirl! Your review really did mean a lot to me.**

**I'm happy with even one reader. So thank you for taking the time to read my little story. Look forward to the next chapter!**

**-Lani xo**


	4. Chapter 3: Run

**Chapter 3: Run**

I stood a bit away from the two boys who looked to be about my age as we waited for this "Dally" person. I watched them, feeling worried and confused. They seemed to have a plan in their heads already, but I could never even have fathomed that something like this could happen. So about one thousand, six hundred and twenty-three questions flew through my head at a mile a second each. They mostly revolved around what had just happened, and what we were going to do. The first thing I thought was that we should turn ourselves in, but I couldn't go to jail! It would crush Tuff. Then, I realized that technically, it was self-defense. And then I worried about the two boys in front of me. And then I re-questioned if this was all really happening. The cycle repeated itself a few times.

Finally, a rough-looking blond came to the door. He towered over me, so I tried not to make my presence obvious. The boys rushed to explain what happened while I tried to blend into the background, starting to wonder why I had followed them. And then I remembered that I had helped them murder a boy. The thought made me feel queasy.

I suppose my whole "blend into the background" thing didn't work very well because as "Dally" processed what the boys had told him, he noticed me and said, "Who's she?"

The taller boy glanced over at me, "Dunno, some girl who helped us, I guess."

I noticed that the dark-haired one didn't talk much.

"My name is Lucy," I said quietly, my teeth chattering. I hadn't even noticed how cold I was getting.

I rubbed my goose-flesh ridden arms, avoiding the stinging gashes that traveled from wrist to elbow, and wondered why I hadn't grabbed a jacket before leaving the house.

"Damn," Dally cursed, looking more closely at the light-haired one, "You're all wet!"

He hurried us inside and we followed him through a crowd of older people, and down a hallway to an unoccupied bedroom. The smell of smokes and alcohol, paired with the loud music they were blasting, made my head hurt. Inside the bedroom, I leaned against the wall. I knew I was in shock, the only bodily sense I had left to rely on was my sight. Everything else was a blur.

_I still don't know their names_, I thought for the millionth time.

I must have accidentally said it out loud this time though because the light-haired one – who, in the light, had a nice head of reddish-brown hair – glanced over and said, "I'm Ponyboy Curtis. That there is Johnny Cade."

My head shot up at Ponyboy, the name being all too unique, "Sodapop's brother?"

He looked at me oddly, "You know Sodapop?"

I didn't get the chance to elaborate because the Dally guy pushed him out to change his clothes in a separate room.

"Are you guys hurt?" Dally asked tiredly, looking at Johnny mostly but giving me a couple of glances also.

Johnny shook his head quickly. Following his lead, I rubbed my bloody arms before shaking my head as well. Johnny was worse off than me, and he deserved Dally's attention. At least, that's what I thought.

Dally squinted at me and grabbed my arms a bit roughly, "Whatcha got there?"

He examined the messy cuts on my forearms as Ponyboy came back into the room, wearing a dry outfit. He and Johnny sat on the bed, and Dally finally dropped my arms to go talk to them. I still stood away from them, but tried to listen to what Dally was saying. All I really got out of it, though, was something about a church and "Windrixville". I was distracted, rubbing the drying blood on my arms.

"Here," Dally said, handing a gun to Johnny, which he quickly shoved into the pocket of his jean jacket.

For a second, I wondered if the situation was really so serious that we needed a gun. And then I again quickly remembered.

_You helped two strangers murder a boy! _Was all that my mind could scream at me.

My stomach sank in grief. _That's right, I'm a murderer._

"Lucy, right?" Dally snapped me out of my reverie, "I don't trust them boys with money, so here."

He shoved a wad of cash into my hand. I gripped the bills tightly, wondering how he could trust a stranger with money. Even if the stranger was me, who would never do anything to purposely hurt someone if it wasn't life or death.

"You're gonna be cold," Ponyboy said to me, pulling his – or Dally's, I suppose – jacket closer to himself as if just thinking about it made him cold.

Dally gave an exasperated sigh, dragging his feet as he went to find something that might even remotely fit my smaller frame. To his credit, he wasn't gone but a minute before a dark sweater hit my face.

"You're welcome," he muttered as I quickly pulled the worn fabric over my head.

He looked at all of us carefully, and for a moment we were all quiet. The music from the other side of the house was ignored as we all looked up at Dally's rugged form. With a sigh, he ushered us out the room and walked us to the front door.

Dally said he'd try to keep the police off our trails for a few days. I didn't know what that meant, but I felt thankful anyway. Then, he told the boys something about telling "the gang" – probably the same one Soda mentioned earlier – somethings. And I automatically wondered what aunt Tilly and Tuff would think. But the thought barely managed to form because before I knew it, Dally was gone and the boys were heading down the street.

I quickly caught up to them and we started running down the streets. I couldn't bear to think about what was happening, so I simply followed Ponyboy and Johnny. I didn't let myself think about anything on our way to the train station.

And then we somehow managed to sneak onto one of the empty carts on the train, just as it started to pull away. I closed my eyes and leaned back onto some crates as the train trudged down the tracks. The feeling of the train slowly gaining speed helped relax my stiff, sore body. My emotions were gone, and I realized that I wasn't acting quite like myself. I, the sweet girl who never broke the rules or went against anybody, was a federal criminal. I guess some part deep inside me knew I had to survive this, and I was left running on auto.

My mind was still trying to process the fact that I was on a train, running away with two boys I didn't even know. To top it all off, I had helped Johnny Cade kill a Soc. I was a killer.

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**A/N: Chapter 3.  
**

**Okay, you guys need to realize that right now Lucy's seriously in survival mode. She's in shock, she's never experienced anything close to this, and that's why she's following the boys around. Also, if you can't tell, Lucy is really protective.**

**In these next couple of chapters, Lucy's still going to be in shock. She's not going to take in a _lot _of things, especially if she can't see it, but that's kind of the point. She's blank. Not sure what to do or how to feel in this new situation. Don't worry, it's not going to last very long. Pretty soon, the real Lucy comes back out again.**

**As always, thanks for reading. Please no hate. Love you.**

**-Lani xo**


	5. Chapter 4: Don't Leave Me

**Chapter 4: Don't Leave Me**

As the train started to pick up speed, I turned to study the boys near me. I wondered about them. I wondered why they were at that park. And why the Socs were hurting them. And what they were like.

Ponyboy fell asleep quickly. His snores were light, and filled the silence of the cart. All I knew about him from Soda was that he's the youngest, of both the family and the gang. And that he was stubborn, but a "really good kid". Smart, Sodapop had told me. So I trusted Pony's judgment a little more than I would have otherwise.

Then I looked at Johnny. He was a bit of a mystery to me. Really quiet, though that could be because he had just killed a guy. He always seemed a little hunched in on himself, like he didn't want to be seen. He had such a scared look in his eyes, but again, dead kid in the park. I watched Johnny curiously as he stared down at his feet. He was sitting against the wall, to the left of the cart's opening.

After a minute, I stood and walked to the opening. I leaned against the door, staring out at the passing forest. The sun would be up in a few hours, I noted, and I wondered how much time had really passed. It felt like an entire lifetime, but it couldn't have been more than an hour or so. Maybe my sense of time was off. I sighed, and behind me I could hear Ponyboy snore and stretch in the small, cramped cart. From the corner of my eye I could see Johnny watching me.

"Johnny?" I said quietly, not knowing exactly what I wanted to say.

After a moment, he replied quietly, "Yeah?"

"How did this happen?" I asked, unsure why my mouth had decided to spit that out.

He was silent for a minute.

"I killed a guy..."

I looked at him sadly, and I realized in that moment that he resembled a kicked puppy. I couldn't accept that he held himself solely responsible.

"We," I corrected after a while.

"What?" he muttered, looking up at me with confusion written all over his face.

"We," I repeated, more strongly this time, "_We_ m-murdered someone..."

He didn't say anything to that, so I continued to stare out at the passing scenery. I was wondering what would happen to me when Ponyboy mumbled something in his sleep and stretched out his leg. His leg was easily long enough to reach me from where he was laying. I gasped as his foot pushed my calf and my knee suddenly buckled. I slipped off the edge of the cart, flailing to grab onto something to save me while cursing myself yet again for having such poor balance.

I hit the ground hard, rolling into the grass. I stopped only a few seconds later, but I felt like I had been moving for an eternity. I ached badly, but I was too confused at the moment to realize it.

"Lucy!" I heard a voice yelp, and I grabbed my throbbing head to look up, seeing Johnny in my place at the cart's door.

I watched the train roll down the tracks without me. I groaned, sitting up and dropping my head into my hands. I sighed and sat like that for a moment, suddenly feeling exhausted. Slowly, I convinced myself to get to my feet and start walking along the train tracks, rubbing one of my arms.

"So to recap," I sighed to myself in order to fill the disturbing silence as I walked as fast as my sore body would allow me, "I got about three hours of sleep, unpacked my things, got followed by some weird loons, met a boy named Sodapop, went to the park, saved a kid named Ponyboy from drowning, helped Johnny k-kill someone, met a scary boy named Dally, got pushed off a train, and have to walk through a forest. Alone. And now I'm talking to myself. Great, maybe I'm going crazy. Is this a dream? Hey God, is this some crazy nightmare? Is this punishment for that one time where I let Jeanette see my homework even though I know cheating is bad?"

I stopped talking to myself, feeling too tired to keep it up. Not to mention concerned about my sanity. My mind wandered, analyzing all of the craziness that had occurred through the past twenty-four hours. It felt strange to think that less than forty-eight hours ago I was saying goodbye to my friends in California.

"I should be thankful that I'm still alive," I grumbled to myself, feeling a bit thankful and more than a little tired.

I continued walking, stopping only once to tie my shoe. Before I knew it, the sun was starting to rise. And as the world began to lighten, I was filled with grief.

"Oh, Tuff," I mumbled as thoughts of my baby brother filled my mind.

_What's he going to think when he wakes and finds that I'm still not home? Is he going to think that I left him just like our parents did?_

A tear streaked down my cheek at the thought.

_And aunt Tilly! When she hears about the boy we killed..._

I tried to hold the tears back, but a few slipped out as I imagined their reactions to the news. I could already see it. Aunt Tilly would be worried and go to the police, and a cop would tell her about the murder. And aunt Tilly would be so upset, but she wouldn't be able to tell Tuff what his big sister did. So Tuff would think that I was just gone. And every night he'd cry those big blue eyes of his out.

I cut the train of thought off when I heard the car. I was walking on the edge of a quaint town, and a passing car stopped a little ways ahead of me. I wiped my face with the sleeve of the sweater and hurried towards the car. An older gentleman opened the driver's door a bit and peeked out at me.

"What is it, grandpa?" a child's voice asked from inside the cab.

I looked up at the kind faced stranger and said softly, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know how to get to 'Windrixville'?"

He smiled at me, "Honey, you're _in_ Windrixville."

I smiled nervously, feeling a bit embarrassed, "Oh, well could you point me in the direction of the, uh, church?"

He looked at me oddly then, taking in my appearance. The oversized black sweater Dally had given me hung loosely on my frame. I imagined that my face was bruised and tired.

"We can give you a ride," he said finally.

I thanked him and got into the car, where a boy who looked no older than four sat also.

"Hi," the boy said sweetly as we started down the road, "I'm Ricky!"

"My name is Lucy," I smiled down at him.

His messy brown hair stuck up at odd angles, and his green eyes peered up at me curiously. Under his freckle-splattered button nose was a gap-toothed smile. All in all, he reminded me of Tuff. I marveled at the boy's innocence as he talked of his new puppy.

_I'll never be innocent again. Because I... I killed someone._

That's all I could think during the short car ride. As the man stopped the car, I thanked him again and I climbed out with a goodbye to Ricky. I was numb, repeating the same thought over and over again to myself.

_I killed someone_.

I made my way up the hill slowly, my body aching with every step.

_I killed someone._

I came to an old church. It looked abandoned, and I wondered if Johnny and Ponyboy were inside. Maybe they had just left me. I made my way up the stairs slowly. My thoughts started to overlap.

_I killed someone._

_ Maybe they just left me._

_ I killed someone._

I pushed the creaky door open hesitantly.

_Maybe they just left me._

_ I killed someone._

_ Maybe they just left me._

I peeked into the room, expecting the worst, and I was surprised to find Ponyboy and Johnny sound asleep on the floor. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

_That's right, _we _killed someone. We're in this together._

_ They didn't leave me._

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**A/N: Here you go. I decided to upload this because last night I got a few chapters done.**

**Lucy talks to herself when she's alone. You just might see more of that later on.**

**Review? Thanks  
**

**-Lani xo**


	6. Chapter 5: She Saved Me

**Chapter 5: She Saved Me**

-Johnny's POV-

I leaned back against the wall of the train cart, silently watching my companions. Ponyboy was asleep within minutes of the train starting, which was no surprise considering how much he'd been through in the past few days. From fights with his brothers to this predicament we'd somehow gotten ourselves into. I was tired, too. But thankful that I wasn't at home. And alive, for that matter.

Slowly, my eyes moved to the strange girl that was with us. Lucy. Her name was the only thing I knew about her. I didn't know who she was or why she helped us. But I was grateful, because I had no idea where Ponyboy and I would've ended up if she hadn't shown up. I stared at the floor, deep in thought.

Then Lucy stood and walked to the open entry of the cart, her eyes flickering as she scanned the passing trees. Neither of us said anything at first. She watched the trees, and I watched her curiously. The way she sighed and tiredly let her long lashes rest on her cheeks every time she blinked. The way her brown bangs blew out of her hazelnut colored eyes as the train's speed increased.

"Johnny," she breathed my name.

I wasn't sure whether or not to answer, "Yes?"

"How did this happen?" her question caught me off guard.

We wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't done what I did. I felt sick and my chest ached at the thought of the events at the park.

"I killed a guy," I said after a long pause.

She seemed to be thinking about that, and I put my head in my hands.

_I killed that Soc, _I thought sadly, _Bob. Cherry's boy. I took his life. I'm a murderer._

"...We," Lucy said quietly and suddenly.

I felt my lips tug downward as confusion set in, and I stuttered out, "W-what?"

"We," she repeated, this time more sure of herself, "_We_ m-murdered someone..."

I flinched at the word she had stumbled over. It took a few seconds for me to process what she had said, but by then she had a look of deep thought on her face so I decided not to say anything back to her. I let her words sink in as silence settled over us. _We_, she had said. She had said it like we were of equal blame. But in reality, I had held the blade that took his life. I delivered the stab. Not her.

_She shouldn't be here._ The thought came suddenly, yet it stuck. She looked like a good kid, someone who wouldn't get mixed up with strangers. I frowned at the top of my shoes, feeling a bit sad for the girl. She must feel so alone, stuck in a terrible situation with two strangers.

I opened my mouth slowly, wanting to say something to her but not knowing what to say. I was well aware that it wasn't in my personality to reach out to people, but something in my gut told me to get closer to this girl. My mouth twisted around silently as I tried to form words, but my efforts seemed to be in vain. Just as I had given up, closing my mouth and getting to lean back in defeat, Ponyboy had to stretch his freaking leg.

I could only watch as Lucy got pushed off the train by my unconscious best friend.

I scrambled to my feet, stumbling over Ponyboy's leg and calling out Lucy's name. She hit the ground at an angle, rolling through the grass and eventually stopped. I couldn't breath, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I stood where she had stood not even two seconds ago, and couldn't do anything until I knew she was okay. And then I saw her head bob up and we made semi-eye contact. She dropped her head back down and then she was out of sight. I exhaled slowly, relieved that she seemed to be okay.

By this point, about three seconds after the incident, Ponyboy was sitting up and looking around in a confused daze.

"What happened?" Ponyboy's croaky voice asked as he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

I don't know what was wrong with me, but suddenly I was feeling completely outraged. I felt something bubbling up in my stomach that was definitely not my last meal. I shot him a look but tried to get a hold over my emotions.

Finally, I managed to growl, "You pushed Lucy off the train."

His now alert eyes widened as he looked around and confirmed that, indeed, Lucy was no longer with us. Then he seemed to realize something, what exactly it was that he realized I do not know, and he gave me a questioning look. I ignored it and sat back down in the spot I'd been at before. I glared at nothing as a deep worry started to haze my mind.

"Why are you getting so mad?" Ponyboy finally asked.

I glanced over at him for a second, my brow furrowing as I tried to answer that question for myself. I wasn't sure why I was getting so mad. Ponyboy hadn't meant to push Lucy off the cart. And she seemed to be uninjured. I just hoped she could make it to the church. I chewed my bottom lip nervously. Questions ran through my head, wondering if she would be okay, what would happen, and why she had helped us earlier that night.

"Because," I said almost silently, after a minute or so, "She... She saved me, Ponyboy."

I hadn't even asked her to help. I hadn't even known she was there until I heard the sound of Ponyboy being dragged out of the water, and then as she kicked Bob down. She just kind of appeared there, like a guardian angel. But that's a silly way to think of a girl who was probably just being nice. She was genuinely worried about us, you could see it in her eyes. In the way she looked at us carefully. In the way that she watched everything. She had saved me.

Ponyboy was quiet as I thought to myself, but I was sure that he figured out that Lucy had saved him as well. I happily let silence fall, and I glanced out the cart worriedly. I wondered about whether Lucy remembered where to go. Then I pondered what the gang was gonna think when they heard about us. What would Dally tell them? Would he even mention how he'd helped us leave Tulsa?

That led to me wondering if Lucy would leave us. She had our money, more than enough to find a ride home. She could probably even get away with lying about the murder. This thought scared me to the point of queasiness. I told myself she wouldn't. I told myself that she was too nice to do that to us. But what did I know? I didn't even know the girl! But she had said _we_ killed Bob, and that was enough to quiet my uneasy mind for the time.

Ponyboy surprised me when he spoke, "I feel bad for her."

I jumped, my wide eyes landing on the younger boy. I forced my quiet words out, "Shit, Ponyboy! You scared me. I thought you were asleep."

"I feel bad for her," Ponyboy repeated, as if I hadn't heard him the first time.

I hesitated, wondering if this conversation would be going in the same direction as my previous thoughts.

After about five seconds I asked, "Why do you say that?"

"Well," he drawled out, "She seems like she's got a good life. She seems like a nice gal. Just been in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I quickly opened my mouth to say something, but the thought fled my mind the second I realized we were nearing our stop.

"We're here," Ponyboy said to himself, yawning and standing up.

I followed him and we leaped off the train, rolling to a stop and hopping to our feet quickly. We dusted ourselves off as we made our way through the small farming town of Windrixville.

"Hey, Ponyboy?" I said almost silently as we neared the abandoned church Dally had instructed us to go to.

"Yes?" my friend responded almost as quietly.

We ascended the steps carefully as the sun's light touched all things around us. I hesitated only a moment before blurting out the question that had been on my mind.

"You think she'll come and find us?"

I was almost scared to hear what my closest friend had to say to that.

"Lucy?" he mumbled as we made our way inside, pausing only a moment before making his way over to a spot on the floor I assumed he deemed worthy of sleeping upon, "Well, shoot. She'd better! She's got our money!"

But we both weren't in the mood for jokes. We both collapsed, feeling the hard ground beneath us. Ponyboy was snoring away in seconds, but I managed to stay conscious for a few more minutes. My eyes were trained on the door. I waited, my mind becoming a jumbled mess as sleep started to fog my brain.

_Lucy, you're coming, right? You saved us... You saved me. You saved my life._

_ But still, we killed a Soc..._

I fell asleep before I could think anymore.

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**A/N: The first chapter in Johnny's POV. Sorry if he seems a bit OOC. Heads up: Lucy does eventually drag Johnny out of his comfort zone (at least with her). Sorry. Don't like, don't read. If you do like the story so far, let me know with a review :) no flames please. I am a delicate flower.**

**-Lani xo**


	7. Chapter 6: The Church

**Chapter 6: The Church**

-Lucy's POV-

I stood in the open doorway of the church for a minute, not knowing how to react to their sleeping figures on the floor. After regaining my composure, I quietly shut the door and tried my best not to wake the two boys. I sat on the floor, leaning against a wall facing the two, and contemplated going to sleep. However, I knew that I'd have to wait for my emotions to simmer back down before being able to rest. So I settled for sitting, giving my sore feet a rest.

The boys' quiet breathing calmed me. I studied their sleeping forms, my eyes narrowing in concentration. Ponyboy was turned away from me, blocking his expression, but from his deep breaths I assumed he was in a deep sleep. I quickly took in his appearance, now in the naturally lit church. His hair was light brown, almost a bit red even. I wondered about his eyes. I hadn't paid attention to it before, except to realize they were light. He looked thin, kind of scrawny to be honest. I wondered why he'd gotten in a fight with those boys. I then looked toward Johnny, who was facing me, and once I set my eyes on his face, I could not look away.

I don't know what it was, but I suddenly found myself unable to see anything except this Johnny fellow. My eyes traced his face. From afar, he looked quite peaceful, but upon further inspection I found his brow furrowed and a slight frown on his face, as if he wasn't having a very good dream. I noticed the scar on his cheek, and then his other blemishes started to appear before my eyes. The bruises along his jaw, the cut on his lips... I'd never noticed them before. I visually traced his lower lip, then realized what I was doing and hurried to look away. My cheeks felt warm, but I continued to study the boy in front of me. His jean jacket, black shirt and torn jeans hid his injuries well from my eyes, but that did not stop me from noticing his light shaking. I immediately stood and removed my sweater, thinking he was cold, and laid it over his torso and arms. I tried not to disturb him, and sat back down as quickly as I could.

Eventually, my eyes wandered to the tips of my shoes, and I was suddenly grateful that I'd chosen my worn out converse in my hurry to the park. I suddenly inspected myself, wondering how I must look. My light jeans were dirty from falling, torn at the bottom and in the knees, starting to fray from all the running I've done. My shirt was dirty as well, but not that bad. I patted my head and felt the hair that was starting to stick out. I didn't braid it again, as I'd gotten distracted by the sight of my arms. There were streams of dried blood running from my elbow to wrist. I rubbed it off, and caught sight of the forming scabs and small cuts. I looked toward my stomach and slightly lifted the hem of my shirt. I immediately regretted it. It hadn't bled very much, but there were several open wounds and my lower stomach was completely covered with long scratches and a few burns. A long, shallow cut ran from my belly button to my right hip. I made a mental note to wash it off as soon as possible. Suddenly, my hurting belly growled.

I realized how long it'd been since I last ate, and figured the boys would be hungry when they awoke. I silently made my way down the hill and through the quiet streets, shivering at the crisp coldness of the early morning air. The walk was calm, as I took in the outdoorsy smells around me. The chill nipped at my nose, but I paid it no mind. The light wind brushed against my exposed arms. It wasn't hard to find a small convenience store in the small town. I walked into the empty store and noted the cashier eying me. I wandered down a few aisles, wondering what I should get, when I had the oh so brilliant idea of actually counting the money to see how much I could spend. I pulled the wad out of my pocket and fingered through the bills, my mouth moving silently as I counted. That Dally person had given us fifty dollars to last however long.

Not wanting to spend too much, I set a budget and picked up a cart. I picked up a week's supply of food. This included bread, peanut butter, and bologna. I then got a lot of Pepsi, to keep us awake during these next few days. As the cashier checked out my items, I noticed a shelf of books and decks of cards. I picked up one of each. The decently young worker eyed me suspiciously. I gave him the most innocent look I could muster, and he didn't question me. I handed him the money and picked up the bags, making my way back to the church as fast as I could. Right before I got to the base of the hill, a boy on a bike rode past me obliviously. I realized that he was delivering newspapers. Striding up the hill, I wondered how long it would be until the murder got in the papers. The thought slid to the back of my mind when I reached the doors.

When I got back, the boys were starting to stir. Johnny had "my" sweater in his arms, kind of cuddling it. The boys heard the click of the door shutting and looked at me in sleepy confusion. They both jerked up and looked at me with wide eyes, calling my name out in unison. The corners of my lips tugged upwards at their reactions.

"Good morning boys," I hadn't realized how tired I truly was until I forced the words out, "I brought breakfast."

Ponyboy noticed the bags in my arms and jumped to his feet. He galloped over to me _(get it? Ponyboy... Pony... okay I'll stop now)_ and took them from me and set them on one of the church pews, rifling through the bags hungrily.

"What'd you get?" Ponyboy asked a bit redundantly.

I looked at him oddly as he continued to rifle through the bags, pulling out a Pepsi and sandwich supplied, "Stuff."

"Ooh!" he said in glee, holding up the book I'd gotten, his face lighting up.

_Gone With The Wind_, I'd managed to read before he plopped down in a corner several feet away with his food.

I unconsciously started rubbing my chilled arms, and from the corner of my eye I saw Johnny look down at the sweater in his hands. He must have realized what it was because he was suddenly beside me, holding the garment out towards me. I looked from it to him, and shivered as we made eye contact. His dark eyes seemed to have a permanent scared look in them, but at that moment there was a layer of... Embarrassment? Joy?

"You seemed cold," I offered as an explanation as I sheepishly took the sweater from him, gulping as I made sure not to make physical contact with the surprisingly attractive boy.

I glanced up at him quickly, and realized that he was blushing.

"T-thanks," he mumbled almost silently.

I smiled, not being able to really look at him now that he was only a couple of feet away and, you know, awake. It took me a moment to force myself to move. Trudging over to the spot I had been in before as I pulled the sweater over my head, I dedicated myself to getting some sleep. As soon as I hit the ground, curling up with my back to the wall and my head on my arms, my eyes were closed and were not planning on lifting themselves again any time soon.

I forced my body to relax, listening intently to the sounds around me. My steadily slowing breathing, the heartbeat in my ears, Johnny scratching on the floor, the flipping pages of Ponyboy's claimed book, even some birds chirping outside. The smell of the church suddenly dawned on me. Musty and old, but not disgustingly so. The dust and dirt on the floor shifted and gridded against my fingers as I moved my hand into a more comfortable position. The coolness radiated off the ground, soaking in through my warm sweater. I could smell something new on the sweater, something I hadn't noticed before. A woodsy smell that I only detected for a moment.

A thick haze clouded my mind, and I was left unable to think complexly. Only the simplest of thoughts entered my mind. I wondered if the boys would be okay without me there to watch them for the few hours that I slept. I hoped they would be. I didn't want anything bad to happen. I silently prayed that Tuff and aunt Tilly would remain safe while I was gone. And, like most times I went to sleep, I sent a quick request to the Lord that my parents would be safe on their trip.

I was almost fully asleep when I heard his mumbling. Johnny was only a few feet away from me, yet I couldn't make out more than a few words. Those words twisted around in my sleep-fogged brain as I dozed off.

_Thanks... saving... Lucy... everything...?_

Suddenly, the words lost all meaning and my mind went temporarily blank as I was taken over by exhaustion.

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**A/N: Here you go. I have nothing to say anymore. I wish I had people reviewing so I know whether or not to continue posting everyday. Maybe I should slow it down to a couple of times a week? Let me know.  
**

**-Lani xo**


	8. Chapter 7: Scolded

**Chapter 7: Scolded**

I had hoped for a dreamless sleep, but my wishes were not granted. Everything was a blur, as if someone had made me wear funky goggles the whole time, and it was basically me reliving the incident at the park. Of course, with odd colors and unrealistic proportions. Things started out the same, and for a moment I wondered if I was still awake and simply remembering it all. And then things started to go downhill. I couldn't move, as hard as I tried. It was like I was moving underwater. My body felt so heavy. I watched in horror as the boys were beaten senselessly. I sensed that things weren't going to end well for us this time. I felt panicky, but my reaction time was so slow. I was numb, yet frighten. I became so confused about everything.

Towards the end of the dream, everything was set on fire. My lungs ached, and I felt sick as I watched the park slowly melt away. I could practically smell the smoke of the burning dream.

I did not awaken slowly, but all at once. I felt as if I'd only been asleep for a minute or two, and found that lifting my eyelids was too hard. So I sat there and tried to regain my bearings. The floor wasn't so cold anymore, and the dust didn't feel so rough. I could hear the boys talking quietly, and the ever song-filled birds outside were still chirping. I found it odd that the smell of the burning dream continued to fill my nose. That's when I realized that it wasn't the dream. My eyes immediately opened and I shot up into a sitting position.

The boys froze, obviously surprised by my sudden movement. It didn't take long for me to spot the lit cancer sticks in their hands.

"Lucy?" Ponyboy said quietly, still shocked, "Are you alright-?"

"Stop," I slurred in my still groggy state, cutting him off and covering my mouth and nose with the sleeve of my sweater while warily eying the fags, "Out. Now."

I didn't mean to seem mean or rude or pushy, but understand that I could not stand cigarettes. I did not understand why people smoked them, for all they did was kill your lungs and ruin your health.

"Lucy?" Ponyboy said in confusion.

Johnny must have traced my line of sight to the weed in his hand because he nudged Ponyboy and nodded towards the door. They both shot me confused looks as they made their way outside. Thankfully, they left the door open. I hoped the air would clear out soon. Smoke is so bad for you. Just like alcohol. I was about to lay back down, still feeling a bit drowsy, when Johnny came back inside. I looked him over carefully as he held his hands up in defense.

"I don't got one on me," he said in that same quiet tone.

I situated myself against the wall and waved my free hand for him to come closer. Johnny took a seat near me, with a few feet between us. I cautiously moved my arm away to sniff the air. It still faintly smelled of smoke, but it was clear enough for me to feel safe breathing it. I turned towards the older boy and slightly frowned at him.

"Smoking is bad for you," my words were once again crisp and cut sharply, the way I'd been raised to speak, "You shouldn't do it."

He bit his lip and looked a bit ashamed, "Sorry."

I shook my head at the boy, then glanced at Ponyboy who had just strolled through the doorway, "And you two should know better than to actually light something on fire in such a flammable place as this."

Ponyboy had a look in his eye that clearly conveyed his feelings. He did not like being scolded by a presumably younger girl. I tried to soften my tone.

"I just don't want you boys to get sick," I whispered.

Johnny looked up at me for a few seconds. It was probably the longest he'd ever looked at me, and I briefly wondered what he was thinking. Ponyboy, however, held my gaze.

"We'll be fine," he said curtly, then mumbled, "I don't know why you're getting all worked up over it anyways."

"Because it matters," I said strongly.

Maybe it was because I was so exhausted. Maybe I was still half-asleep, despite not feeling so. Maybe I was just missing Tuff. I don't know, but for some reason their lives suddenly meant so much more to me.

We were all silent for a moment, all our energy dissipating.

"We'll smoke outside from now on," Johnny said suddenly, locking eyes with Ponyboy, "Right?"

Ponyboy hesitated only a moment, "Right."

We left the door a bit ajar, to circulate fresh air inside. Ponyboy got lost in his book while I started to doze off again. I just couldn't get back to sleep though. The boy next to me started to speak just then.

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**A/N: So here's ch.7! I'm uploading this chapter now because I won't have time tomorrow, but I plan on updating the story on Tuesdays and Fridays. Does that sound good? Or should it be once a week? Let me know.  
**

**I currently have up to ch.17 written. It's probably going to end up being around 30 chapters, but as you can tell the chapters aren't very long. I did this on purpose. If you really want longer chapters, I can always combine two chapters together, but it honestly doesn't have the same effect. Just let me know what you think.**

**Also, would this story be considered AU since it deviates from the cannon? I just need to know what you guys think this story should be labeled as.**

**I also just now realized that I never did a disclaimer. So DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Outsiders (book or movie franchise). The only things that are mine are my original characters (Lucy/Tuff/Tilly/Tommy/etc.) and you may not take them from me. I got the inspiration for the story line from another author, who gave me _permission_ to go ahead with this story, and the only thing our stories share is the fact that a girl is helping them out.**

**Thank you for reading, and please do feel free to give me feedback. I am all for constructive criticism.**

**-Lani xo**


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